Monday, April 11, 2011

CARNIVORE OLD LADIES

Last night I dreamed I was walking through my neighborhood, and I found this house where two old ladies lived. The house was full of animals: birds (some in cages, some free), cats (a lot of them), and dogs (a few). Those ladies seemed quite nice and friendly, and they had some really beautiful birds. I petted an orange, tabby female cat which immediately liked me.

After a while I found out that those ladies didn't feed their animals. Instead, they let them eat each other. That shocked me a bit, even if in nature the food chain works that way.

Then I found out some other, uglier truth: these ladies were actually carnivores, and they ate their own cats (blame the movie "Hellboy 2" for that; I watched it last night).

Some hungry dogs came from some other place to eat these ladies' animals/dinner. A whole pack of them. I was afraid for my friend the tabby cat. But we all were able to scare away the dogs, and after that the ladies gave me the tabby cat... dressed in a cute white baby's dress. The poor cat didn't seem very happy with that, but at least she was safe, and came home with me.

Don't you love happy endings?

G. E.

Sunday, April 10, 2011

(FAKE?) SAINT BERNARD PUPPIES

In this dream somebody gave me two Saint Bernard puppies. They were plush toys, though. Have you ever seen Saint Bernard puppies? Oh, they're amazingly cute. And so were my plush toys.

Still, after a while they started to move, as if they were actually breathing. "They must work with batteries," I said, yet everybody told me that they didn't, they were simple plush toys. Some minutes later they started to walk, and they wanted to be petted. "Are you sure they don't have batteries inside?" I asked again, and people kept saying no.

I didn't mind. Those Saint Bernard plush toys loved me, and they were as cute as real puppies. I cuddled them in my arms and was very happy with them, fake or not.

Then a real dog appeared. Some kind of rabid dog who didn't like my lovely Saint Bernard puppies. The dog attacked one of them, and I fought to save it. (Geesh, that was me fighting yet another rabid dog. That's getting annoying, if you ask me.) I held the rabid dog down, and... the dog lost its jaw. That was kinda creepy.

The plush toy had a long tear on its back, and right, there were no batteries inside, only plush. "No problem," I said, "I can sew it." It was going to be easier than sewing a real pup (which I can also do, though it's a lot bloodier, and I have to use anesthesia).

The dream ended there. And now I'm worried again about all those rabid dogs I've had to kill in dreams :-/

G. E.

Monday, April 4, 2011

VENGEFUL ZOMBIE (ME!)

Yesterday I dreamed I was traveling in a school bus that was taken by terrorists. We were forced to get down, and they led us to a building. We all begged not to be harmed. A woman asked to go to the toilet, and I asked to go with her. If we were going to be taken as hostages for some time, then I thought it would be a good idea to pee first.

Anyway, while that woman and I were in the toilet, the terrorists started to shoot people. One of them shot me in the neck, and I started to bleed profusely. I pressed the wound with a finger to stop the bleeding, thinking that maybe I'd hold enough to get home and call an ambulance. Another terrorist saw me and shot me in the head (I couldn't fix that with a finger). I died thinking that I hadn't been able to say goodbye to my mom (how sad!). Yet those terrorists kept shooting my dead body, and if you ask me, it was a stupid waste of bullets. But terrorists aren't rational people, are they?

After a while, I stood up as some kind of bloody, angry zombie with a thirst for vengeance. Bullets could no longer hurt me, and I took an AK-47 rifle from one of the terrorists. Those evil, stupid terrorists had to pay for killing me while my pants were down (it wasn't very polite; they could have waited until I left the toilet).

Curiously, as soon as I took that rifle, I started to talk with a heavy Russian accent. It was funny. I searched for those terrorists who had shot me, asking them, "Did you shoot me?" Not all of them answered, yet I knew the truth by the look on their faces. I shot them all, one by one. It was quite bloody :-P Some of them shot me back, and I got even madder; bullets couldn't hurt me anymore, but I didn't want to have holes all over my body. Even a zombie girl must care for her looks.

Stop shooting me! I'm dead and I have enough holes already!

I finally found the last murderer. After that, I also found Bin Laden!! and wanted to shoot him as well, but my AK-47 had run out of ammo. I said, "Dang! It had to happen right now!" But it didn't matter, though. There were more bullets some place nearby.

The dream ended there, though, so Bin Laden will have to wait.

G. E.

Saturday, April 2, 2011

HUNGRY SHARKS!

First I have to say, I haven't forgotten about this blog. I know it's been a while since last time I posted something; the thing is, I haven't been dreaming anything worth telling. If I could choose, I'd have an awesome dream every night and I'd post here every day, but unfortunately my dreaming machine doesn't work like that (sigh!). And I refuse to tell fake dreams. All the dreams here are absolutely real, even the weirdest ones.

So, this is what I dreamed a couple of days ago. I was a coastguard. It was dark, yet the beach was full of people, some of them swimming.

Then I saw a couple of white sharks come out of the water and eat people. "Shark! Get out of the water!" I shouted. I found a megaphone by my side and I shouted the warning again. People screamed and got out of the water, then I saw many other sharks swimming very close to the shore.

Some of those sharks got entangled in ropes when they tried to eat people on little boats. They were dying already (the sharks, not the people), and I had to kill them. I used a big knife for that, and well, there was so much blood that I felt like Dexter.

This was an unusual dream. I dream quite often about sea monsters, but they never attack, even if I'm swimming close to them, and it's generally daytime. I really wonder if this dream means that something has changed in my mind.

Anyway, it's good to be back :-) I hope it stays like that.

G. E.